Missing Our Girls!

It hasn't even been a full 24 hours but I miss them so.

Joey was admitted in the hospital for exactly what, we're not sure, but we know it IS getting better which is good. What was originally diagnosed as a very bad reaction to poison ivy has turned the shoulder area of his skin bright red and significantly blistered. Four different diagnosis, and a dozen different meds later, the white blood cell count (which was quite high yesterday) is almost stable. I spent the night at the hospital with him and family is at our place with my twincesses.

So I am here.

We've been toying with the idea of getting out and spending the night without the girls, but this is not exactly what we intended.

I'm just glad he is on the road to getting better and that we are able to hang out in his room and laugh and talk despite the situation. He really is my best friend and I hate seeing him confined to a hospital bed. What will be even harder is not being able to be in direct physical contact with them until the blisters begin to go away.

These girls are way too lovable to stay away from.


See?

What I would do to have such long, black, curled lashes!

She has such a pure smile!

Dream come true :) 

Love just looking into those big brown eyes!

If you're the praying type, send some this way for a speedy recovery, if you're not, try it :)

Epiphany.

These past two weeks have been crazy busy.

Especially this one.

My students had a juried competition yesterday and getting prepared to take over 30 middle schoolers to any event is a chore. Add the last minute creative changes to their work, matting, paper work, late nights away from home and all with out a right hand for a few days (long story) then you have me with an insanely high level of stress.

Was it worth it?

Definitely.

Afterwards I decided it was time to have my first real night out since we've had our girls. A lot of doubts about leaving them ran through my mind, but listening to some incredible live music, I found myself mid epiphany last night.

It's easy to lose yourself in a marriage, to forget who you are as an individual and only view the spouse you are. The responsibilities can be overbearing, and the routine confining. Parenthood can be the same way.

I made the mistake once of losing who I really was once. I made it a plan then,  to never let that happen as a mommy. Of course that's easier said then done but so far it has been great.

Last night I felt so at ease. I was doing something I loved, meeting new people, absorbing all of this wonderful music and creative energy - and I was able to do it as a wife, and a mother.

My epiphany was it doesn't have to be one or another. I can have it all.

I can be a mom, wife, and employed. I can be a friend, and a daughter. I can be a Christian and an artist. I am a designer, and domestic, a lover of music and art, and a boring homebody. I can be a good teacher who invests in my students, and not neglect the aforementioned in doing so.

During some beautiful vocal harmonies, I was reminded of a song that helped me stay positive during my time dealing with infertility and loss. This song warmed my heart during those times it began to feel cold.  Now it's my motherhood anthem.

My Heart With You Lyrics

Waited a hundred years to see your face,
And I would wait a hundred more
If only to be near you,
To have you and to hear you.
Isn't that what time is for?

I sailed a thousand ships in search of you.
Traveled to distant land.
I dove for sunken gold.
I took what I could hold,
But you're still the greatest treasure I've held in my hands.

My love, the reason I survive,
Trust we'll be together soon.
Should our fire turn to dark,
Take my heart with you.

A tattered photograph my pocket holds.
I keep you secretly.
I studied every line.
You're etched upon my mind
For not a million soldiers could take you from me.

My love, the reason I survive
Trust we'll be together soon
Should our fire turn to dark,
Take my heart with you.
You

My love, the reason I survive,
Trust we'll be together soon.
Should our fire turn to dark,
Take my heart with you.
Take my heart with you.
Take my heart with you.

I want to love them with everything I have, all of the time. I don't want to take for granted what I've been given. I know I say that a lot, but it's true,  I'd do anything for these girls.

I look forward to many more minutes, hours, days, months and years of not only being their mommy, but being everything else I want to be as well.

Have a great week.

Weekend Odds and Ends

These are my stragglers from the weekend.

Either they didn't work with the photo compositions, are they weren't related to the blog topic. 

Ear Piercing

G-Mom and Grandad took the girls to get their ears pierced. They did great! Mommy could have done better :/ 

Lola get's ready for her bling!

Post piercing bottles keeps the tears away! G-Mom, Grandad, and Tia Lor

Recycle Those Tees!

I had a hard time getting rid of old t-shirts of Joey's from previous schools and camps he has coached through the years so I had the idea to make a t-shirt quilt, and mom had the know how and skills. I love how this worked out and cannot wait for her to make me one with some special red and white t-shirts of mine from college <>

Quality Time with Popo and Grandma

We spent the night with my parents Saturday night and the girls had a blast. They have four of the best grandparents ever.

Mom with Mila and Dad with Lola

Mom and her grandbabies

 Monkeying Around

Lola LOVES her new sock monkey from her grandparents. She kicks and waves her arms around when she sees her.

Just Like Daddy

The girls in one of MANY of daddy's ball caps...

Lil' Homie.

Peep the bling!

Have a GREAT rest of the week.

My First Mother's Day

My first Mother's Day busy but blessed.

It started with my gift from my girls, a silver cross necklace with their birthstone, and some glittery silver Tom's from Joey.

No new vacuum for this momma :)


It was almost surreal that I was a mother this Mother's Day. Partly because I'm still baffled that I am FINALLY a mother, also because I stayed so busy packing, unpacking, loading, unloading, driving, visiting here and there and packing and loading to head to the next place. By the time we made it home Sunday night (we spent the weekend in our hometown) I was HAPPY to finally be able to spend the quality time with my daughters I think any mother would want on Mother's Day.

It was a big day for me, something I've looked forward to for many years and I was humbled by the experience. I know I say this often but I am forever grateful for the opportunity to raise such beautiful, precious girls. I think it's easy to take for granted what we are given when we are chosen by God to become mothers. In a world where women depend on their own mothers to raise their children, or mothers who spend more time on their own social agenda instead of at home with their family I am grateful that my heart is so embedded in theirs that being more committed to anything else is unfathomable.

Not only do I have these jewels to treasure, but the jewel that gave me life. My mother is more than one could ever want in a mom. She is my cheerleader. She encourages me, supports me, sets me straight, makes me laugh, and is my best friend.  She not only showers me with love, but my husband as well and for that I'm very thankful. Our relationship isn't perfect, but it shaped me to become the woman, and mother I am today.

Okay, I'm getting too wordy, here are the pics!

1) My girls and I on Mother's Day
2) Mom and I with washed out eyes, Mother's Day service was quite emotional
3) The man and I
4) The brother in law Brandon, my niece Keegan and my sister Mia with her baby glow!
5) The best brown sister in law I could ask for and my mother in law with her snazzy new Swarovski crystal earrings
6) My father in law Joe, nephew Rich, Mila and niece Kacie

I hope your Mother's Day brought as much joy as mine did! For all of the women who are still praying for their mommy moments, I'm still praying yours will come soon.

Happy Birthday Tio!

This weekend not only brought on a fabulous first mother's day for me (post coming tomorrowish) but also a SURPRISE 70th birthday party for my uncle. This was such a happy event because I saw cousins that I normally only see on not so happy occasions lately it seems.

I was responsible to make a video slideshow for the event and let me tell you, it was quite the task! This all came during a week that was jam packed of things that needed to get done for other freelance gigs and work and with twins to boot, if I made it in bed before 2 a.m. I was giddy. My fatigue got the best of me by Friday in the form of a migraine that caused me to toss my cookies (twice), leave work early, and nap (for four hours). Needless to say we didn't get on the road that evening like we had planned, but made it in the next day.  During a time when we literally lose a dear uncle every year, it was nice to celebrate such a great milestone for such a great man - in other words, it was all worth it (plus I was blessed with an unexpected payment which included some heavy duty massage time here!)

My family is very special to me and I was so excited to have an opportunity for my girls to be there for such a joyous occasion. It was fun introducing them to everyone, but let's face it, it's like they already knew them thanks to Facebook and this blog :) These events our bitter sweet because we are missing so many great relatives who have already passed on, and then of course those that are around but never really, around. I can never truly express how important family is to me and I want our girls to inherit the same devotion so as long as these events occur, we will be there.

Enjoy the pics, and Tia Janie, if you read this, make sure you tell my uncle another great big happy birthday from me and our girls!

1) My uncle is serenaded to "Un Dia La Vez" a very special song to our family, a very tender moment
2) Lola enjoying quality time with her Godparents - they are a great blessing to us, and our girls
3) Mila getting some special attention from our family friend Blake
4) It took 70 years but my uncle had is first, very own pinata!
5) Lola with one of her biggest fans, my cousin Sarah
6) Yes, we're all good looking in this family:) these are my cousins Leslie and Anthony holding Mila
7) Lola and her sombrero
8) Mila with the woman that God used as a vessel to bring our girls to us, our dear pastor Lucy
9) My niece Keegan and my newest niece Tristan
10) My uncle with his daughters and son, my first cousins

We had a crazy good time and I can't wait to see everyone again soon! We love you all and thanks for showing our girls so much love!

Cinco De Mayo, 6 Months, and My Friend Marcus.

This week we were able to catch a Cinco de Mayo festival in the area and enjoyed ourselves very much. Festivals are staple events for Joey and I and it was nice to share a bit of that with the girls. It was a small festival but we enjoyed the food and the entertainment which consisted of some mariachi groups and student ballet folklorico dancing.

The girls were a pretty big attraction too. They received so many compliments, and there were many "Aye que chulas!" not to mention all of the times the girls had to be touched to prevent "ojo" or in English, the evil eye, where a child can become ill if a person who covets the child or admires him/her doesn't touch them.

Joey and I really don't believe all that, but it's a part of the culture and we just smile and say "thank you."

Of course, that's because we know these little girls are quite the charmers...

Mommy and Daddy had fun too.

Baby headband flowers work great as accessories for mommy too!

Baby carriers are BOSS

We had a terrific Saturday which set up for an even better Sunday! I was anxiously awaiting for the girls to wake up this morning so I could snap pics of them in their crib to tell them HAPPY 6 MONTHS!!

I can't believe it. My girls are getting so big! Tomorrow we have the 6 month check up and I'll have stats to post on their development then, but I will say last week we found out Mila was already over 16 lbs!

It was a great day, which turned even more bitter sweet as we were giving the girls their last bottle for the night. I became quite nervous when we saw the President would speak this evening, without so much of a hint regarding the subject. This world is a crazy, ugly place at times and I just don't know what to expect next.

The news that soon followed regarding the death of Osama Bin Laden brought a series of emotions. I remember the fear I felt on 9/11, I remember the images that will be forever etched in my memory. I remember the spirit of the American people when the wars began. I remember getting the phone call from my mom telling me Marcus had died during the efforts over seas. It is something that has never left my heart.

Marcus was a good family friend. Our parents were close, and we went to church together. I was fortunate enough to get to know him better later in life through a long series of Myspace messages during the end of his first tour, the time he came home, and through a short period of his second tour. I re-read those messages tonight which I had copied and pasted onto another document when I deleted my Myspace so I'd never lose those conversations. Some of the things I read my me cry, some made me smile, and some made me laugh (like when he jokingly said my puppy would behave better if I beat him with a hanger, always a joker).

Although we always knew Marcus' death was never in vain, I think knowing that Bin Laden is now dead, and can no longer hurt others makes it sting a bit less. So many lost their lives during the attacks, and during the war against terrorism, this was a tribute to them and their hard work. I know Marcus is leading the celebration in heaven right now.

Sgt Reuben Marcus Fernandez

I am thankful to be an American. I am thankful for our FBI, CIA, and other special operatives. I am thankful for the Allies that supported our efforts. I am thankful for former President George W. Bush, and President Barack Obama. I am thankful for Americans that stand by their government, their leaders, and their troops and don't allow themselves to fall into negative mindsets. I am thankful for the troops and their families that sacrifice so much. I am thankful for those that gave the ultimate sacrifice with their lives.

I am thankful for Marcus and his family. I pray they sleep with an insurmountable peace tonight knowing their loved one was a part of such an incredible mission to rid this world of hate and fear.

I am thankful for you if you took the time to read all of this, as it is very close to my heart. Do me a favor, read more about my friend Marcus here. view the pictures from his services here, and watch a small portion of a highlight video of his beautiful memorial here.


I believe the more people that know his story, and what he stood for not only keeps his memory alive, but has the power to touch the hearts of even complete strangers.


Have a blessed week, and GOD BLESS AMERICA.